One of the responses made my heart heavy. A gentleman replied:
"Less of me..."It was painful to read because I know that is exactly how I would have answered that question throughout most of the time I was a believer. In conservative Evangelical theology, you are seen as bringing nothing to the table, everything is about what God does. The only thing preventing God from doing his best for you and in you is you. With such a view of one's relationship to the divine, self-disparaging comments become the norm.
Growing up, sermons from the pulpit, bible studies, and song lyrics constantly drove home the message that I was, inherently, the problem. These lines were typical of the Christian bands I listened to as a believer:
"I know how I ought to be. Alive to You and dead to me."
" More of Jesus, less of me."
" I am nothing! So I lay down and cry for mercy."I recently moved my entire music collection over to a USB drive for my car. Even still, most of my music collection is Christian Rock. I tried listening to some old songs as I drove around town. Though I could still enjoy the music, the lyrics tended to be so... depressing, that I just had to turn it off. It was just weird listening to a good tune where the lyrics repeated how awful everyone is.
The above meme was posted by another believing friend of mine. I sigh when I read things like that.
You are not the villain. Happiness will not come from there being less of you.
The answers will not be found in tearing down "you".
What I have discovered since leaving the life of faith a few years back is that happiness and peace develop as I am becoming my best self.